25.12.10
concealing. (haikus)
here, my lungs are full of shit,
not unlike most things.
a day without maps
is like a night without stars,
i just want to puke
a little dizzy
from blacking out every night.
sober just as drunk.
disease, malfunction,
ability is only
a mindset if you
are not sick ev'ry
day in a body that seems
so smooth against cogs
so crunched in those cogs
you become the oil and you
know no one is free
together we can
find the edge of the world and
then find it again
the next day while we
anchor it to some heaven
that only exists
here in shaky hands
held by another's hands
less shaky and then
we'll take turns just like
seasons share a year and life
takes over death till
life no longer wants
itself nor death but something
less nauseating.
20.12.10
resp.
17.12.10
16.11.10
Andromeda, Thinking of Men
and the points of light that break the void. Let me assure you
though, it’s all chaos up there, and they’re only myths I whisper.
Tell me I’m more beautiful than the Nereids. I’m not afraid,
I stopped believing in monsters, and chairs.
I’d still like you to save me though, to find me by the shore in chains.
I know it’s not very modern to want for you to come to me
here, bringing me the heads of the women you loved before.
Carry them over your back until you find me on the rocks,
you don’t know how long I’ve thought of men.
Before you came it was only uncles with jewels and hands,
but we can put that behind us once you’ve loosened things up.
I’ll let you run your finger along my gums, they say you can learn
a lot from the teeth. They’ll tell you things if you touch them right.
I really am eager to meet you, you know.
I told you it’s the turning, not the heavens themselves and it’s true.
The stars have houses we can’t see and they have ways of returning
like whales and certain turtles to the places they know. The stars are
faithful, and so I am too. Because I know you’ll come back to me
if I just put myself out there. Out here.
13.11.10
5.6.10
"I'm fairly certain that playing videogames has given me unrealistic expectations when it comes to solving real problems. Independent of the scenario - a race of ravenous sentient robots, a wife lost in the folds of a parenthetical metanarrative, and so on - I can be expected to deliver a satisfactory resolution in twenty hours or less. More than satisfactory, in fact. I will recalibrate your entire concept of success as it relates to human endeavor.
I might leave a crack somewhere in the proceedings, something to allow for a sequel, sure - Navajo rugs, and so forth. But this oil thing exists at a point beyond my ability to usefully file it in my mind. I have a naive, quasi-religious faith in the capacity of people to resolve problems, borne of three decades plowed into interactive power fantasies and utopian science fiction. It's left me more or less paralyzed by the world-as-it-is." -Jerry Holkins
3.6.10
black hat
1.4.10
quiverhold
she's the only one can feel the underearth burn through concrete.
stinks like carrion, arrow-ridden exhibitionist.
she's the only one can hunt spiders, come out reeking like rot-blood and fir mold.
temptation rings in the ears. permanent damage. saltwater soft stroke.
you were gorgeous you were everything. potent congenial. bee milk galaxy. dischord sleepwave. everything.
moon dance, heart twist, hands wrung, sun shift.
blood memory. scar conscious. blood memory.
war voyeurs lick the blood off the battle scene
like starving kittens
you cook your bruises on the concrete of a dead-air summer
while you sweat out spring water,
arrow held fast and warm against your cheek.
29.3.10
'in medias res' as an indication of trauma
26.3.10
12.1.10
softly. slowly.
latest history lesson is how to rip the pictures out of the book.
there's a parasite in memory.