15.8.07

goodbye? Fuck.


Just relax, take your time, have some strong cups of bitter coffee.
Feel the light of this town reflect off the diamond that hangs from your window sill
and watch as the rainbows create their vibrant orchestra of colour.
The one that you awoke to every summer morning
before you were greeted by the familiar damp nose of your wandering house cat
and remember how she purred and bit your knuckles
like a friend who understood that your need for
attention was something you only wanted
to feel through some sort of sacrifice

and watch your step when you climb through blackberry bushes that lead you tip toeing through dirt roads that once led to carved out trees and warm hearted beasts.
Watch as they now lead to excavators and rock beds.
Feel your heart sink down below your ribs and twist around your spine.
search for the friends that you need at that time
and remember how the best of your friends will turn into the worst of your enemies in the middle of a move
but also the way that they will
immediately revert with blinding speed to sweetheartdom
as you try and capture memories
in your several desperate last attempts
to create a connection
and you'll grasp out and scream the words you were unable to voice at those failed times when you tried to create closure

and you'll find yourself perched on a mountain
and you'll fall back laughing and spewing out what used to just be mumbled rhetoric
but is now 'clearly phrased and technical'
to some stranger who probably doesn't even know
about all those who are still beating you up inside

you'll repeat the words 'i miss you' to those that you left behind
but the emotion will never be translated properly
because you know emotive letters,words,and conversations
only feel right
when spoken to a close companion late at night
beneath moonlight overlooking oceans or lakes
that you walked through and breathed in, glancing upward at the sky,
where all that was felt,
was forged in the hearts of the pretty spectacle of long dead stars.

9.8.07

...and then...


Such a lady but I'm dancin' like a ho



I'm buying these in black and possibly purple to wear with high heels to dance on speakers and bars at skeezy night clubs. I love my life.

8.8.07

Regarding Catastrophe and the Cure

I promise I'm not holding anything against you.
How could I, really?

You've never held anything against me,
Even when the opportunity presented itself.

So let's just agree to a cease fire and put these arms away
before someone gets hurt or doesn't.

Thank god for small miracles
and for paths out of this wicked little town.

7.8.07

my list

#1: I am too moldy

#2: I've never been great at being a friend

#3: I like these comox people Waaay too much, and I think my expectations are too high for Prince George

#4: Punks aren't the only cool people in the world.

#5: Last night was a weird dream but it only existed because I was outside his house. Don't over analyze.

#6: TOo much fun at work lately. Too much stress at home.

#7: Too much dependance on my wonderful wonderful friends who I want to spend all my time around.

#8: I don't like drinking because I love conversationalists too much.

#9: Grumps are lumps are frumps are often ~~~~>this guy <~~~~~~

#10: I still think about that stupid boy

#11: Sisters,Colleen,Corrina,Ayri,Andrea,Heidi,Travis,and Zander and Ryan are going
To be missed shitloads when I move in three weeks and I'm dreading not having such great friends in the same town with me.

#12: i got my graduation transcript today.

#13: Travis and heidi better hang otu with me tonight because I love them.

Think 'Let's Get Confessional' but more Confrontational

I'm not trying to run or hide from it.
I'm just trying to get a head start
so that when it finally hits me
that you're seriously gone,
I can get out of bed
and move on
and move forward to forget.

You can all assure me that things will be better
and that nothing changes in one summer,
but we know better about kids and things and problems,
we know that everything is changing
and it's out of control and it's terrifying
but at least we all survive in the end
and at least I can try to get a head start.


This Week's Theme:
"Let's Not Be Dishonest or Maybe
..."

Him&Me (I need to stop dating)

W says: (11:16:10 PM)I saw pauls, i think you can tell its me, you would have no idea its you

W says: (11:16:17 PM)its the "high five" one:S

S says: (11:16:29 PM)what?

W says: (11:16:46 PM)you dont recall?

S says: (11:16:53 PM)no, what happened

S says: (11:17:00 PM)i dont remember most of that night to be entirely honest

W says: (11:17:16 PM)hahah paul came in..and was like wylie high five, and he was like

W says: (11:17:21 PM)I'm not leaving till you high five me

W says: (11:17:23 PM)so i did


S says: (11:17:25 PM)REAALLY?!

W says: (11:17:27 PM)and he took a picture

S says: (11:17:39 PM)how many people were actually in the room

S says: (11:17:41 PM)what the fuck

S says: (11:17:44 PM)how many people saw me naked

S says: (11:17:49 PM)jesus christ

W says: (11:17:50 PM)..5

W says: (11:17:51 PM)?

S says: (11:17:58 PM)im gonna go die now

W says: (11:18:10 PM)that might be a minium number

W says: (11:18:12 PM)i totally dont kow

W says: (11:18:33 PM)but i know, paul, melissa, olaf, nicole and zak, for sure

W says: (11:18:39 PM)vanessa may have been included in there

W says: (11:18:50 PM)as well as sean...sean came in, but we covered up becuase he warned us

S says: (11:18:57 PM)yeah i remember that

S says: (11:19:10 PM)i actually feel like im going to vomit.

Uh Huh, Her

5.8.07

Bullshit, because I'm too exhausted and boring to post anything substanstial



my friend was right, my tits did in fact grow. It's sad that she noticed it a week before I did, and I work at a lingerie store.

Also I need to stop drunkenly making out with random men in bars who are in their mid to late 20s. I'm too young for this adult shit.

The Rise of the Black Emperor

When the glow was gone I found myself wanting
To be granted some silence, be rid of this haunting
To be taken away on the crest of a wave
To be given a way to be free of the grave

I became the chemist, I sought transmutation
Creating devices which destroyed my nation
I cared not for gold, it was Iron I'd need
To create a bridge between man and machine

When the bishop got word he began the crusade
Luddites in garb marked 'The Christian Brigade"
But by the time they arrived, I'd completed my work
and waited for them in a swamp midst the murk

I appeared to them as a God among Men
Veins of black oil, the raw strength of ten
I tore out their eyes, I severed their spleens
Just as they'd done to my fellow machines

I followed their trails to the capitol city
I burned down the courthouse, I killed without pity
Women and children, my ex-countrymen
By the time I was done all that lived were the wrens.

It brought me great pleasure to see the look in his eyes
As I cornered the bishop who'd incited these times
Of dread and of war against the Man against death,
Of the cutting of ties, the cessation of breath.

When I finished with him I returned to my home
To begin the creation of mechanical bones
My vocal chords proved incompatible things
So they were replaced with a system of strings

Man's body's a curse for machines to pity,
I call arias of static from the roofs of this city
With a voice like the hiss of guitars' metal strings
I can whisper these secrets of my metal things.

1.8.07

Moonlight Eclipsing the Rainbow

LIFE LIFE LIFE LIFE PAIN
PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN LIFE
LIFE PAIN
ART
think about it