how not to deal with life

"are you trying to break me?"

I find myself wanting to scream this out to some divine creator.

and this is the fourth time this summer.

The fourth time I actually wished I was religious, so I could have someone to blame this over. Someone to ask
"is this just a fucking sick joke?"

But I don't.

and i wish I could be hugging you. It's been nearly a year since we've crossed paths , my dear.

and it's my fault
because it's been my turn to say "No, rest your legs, I'll come to you this time."
and I never did.

and it's beating me up inside
Just like everything else this lousy fucking year seems to have brought me.

That's right world, fuck you, I admit that I'm weak
and I admit that I feel too much.
I just wish this stuff would stop happening now.

Would a month of peace be too much?
fuck it.