to gordo from lizzy

small electronic light tracing yellow street
lines home
on a series of oceanic concrete hills
we followed it in the dark my bike pulling me downhill
asking me to jump on and turn the corner at the bottom
plunging into the pacific
solidifying myself in water so that there is no need to move
no necessary shifting of place of finding somewhere new

but we persist forward to end up back at those places that are known as home
we're talking and we're laughing
something about twisted old friendships
something about grade nine
things that I doubt anybody ever feels okay about
but we search for comfort in the discussion of it
and I remember bits and pieces of this specific walk home like it was last night
I remember cherry tree branches shaking and dancing
and wondering where the wind was coming from
and the cat playing out on the street up ahead
and the feeling of warmth
on a calm summer night
sitting on the sidewalk talking about departures
or maybe nothing at all
and y'know
everything felt really in place
except the wondering of where your friends will be in the nearing weeks

and I was found in a room making a zine
drunk on coolers, as usual
in a crowd of people I had just barely met
overhearing old friends, strangers to me, talking out on the sidewalk
and I tried my hardest to not scratch out some shitty poetry about
sidewalk conversations
after walking home from parties
and how it feels to no longer have that

but i stopped myself from putting pen to paper
probably because the poem would have ended up being something like this one:
confused with too much meaning,
made aimless ,un-poetic, and completely ruined by memories that are too wonderful.
and I struggled with that
with this distance
that can't be written about properly

and in some sick way of not wanting to be the only one who misses their friend
I hope you feel that too
if you walk home alone
and turn the corner
from haida onto linden
or church onto noel
the places where we always parted ways at the end of every perfectly memorable or potentially forgettable summer evening
where it was never goodbye
but only goodnight