meaning for a word i used to hate

we put out a fire yesterday and we thought we found the ocean.
but it came back to us
when there was a warm wind today. it thrusted against me the same way the beginning of a new poem can. i can tell it doesn' t know where it's going, where it's intended to be.

we admired the wind and i walked south west, a direction i've come to love probably a little too much.

vegetables and the people that love them, vegetables and the people i admire
summer crushes on farms replaced by fall and appreciated kitchen mashes
and im so appreciative of your words, these words.
although muddled too much by frantic smiles and head bobs
( and god, how many times can one person say 'totally' ?)

but this fall i dont believe in falling
because i think there are
three rules for me to live by

1. never fall down
2. always get in the way
3. I can't remember the third

but we ended up by the canal, singing, the wind and I....my toque almost blowing away, my hand on my head, like nights before, nights spent dancing
and we howled away
about decision making, and beauty