essence of childhood

i want to die 1000 times over.


love. ing you
the way to be
please tell me
no direction
direct me
i will hurt myself
because i don't know what it means
i have no mind
help me

you want to
i don't need it
detach, please
i can no longer rid you from my mind
personal consistency
it's the way to be

"i have two minutes"

i don't want to die, but that's what you like to hear.
i'm quite fond of myself, indeed.
your satisfaction comforts me.

The Smallest Feeling

I'm still searching
for the smallest feeling
a sensation I lost somewhere
though now, I can't seem to remember
when I had it last or where it lived before
it didn't live anywhere

my hunt is like a grandmother
in that its fingers are curved
and they search
tracing something in thick air

raised as though about to speak
but hesitating
returning to my side
struck dumb so suddenly
like a Father
when for once you're honest
and he's frightened

I remember finding the smallest feeling
only once when I bit my cheek
or was it my tongue
and the blood all flowed to the end
and I felt it then,
the swollen pink sweetheart between my teeth
"found you"

But it doesn't work like that anymore
all my sweethearts just say "be mine"
"i'm yours"
and I say, "no, thanks."
no matter how hard I try to catch it
before it gets out.

This is how rumors get started.

This Week's Theme is:
2 0 0 8:
A _______ Odyssey

marcher dans l'eau

Turning once more to seize the night
i find an old weight
something's here around my hips
slung low and dark
washing up against my thighs

thread tied round my wrist
wavers and floats on its surface
opaline and sheer as I lift it
still dripping from a storm passed

i run my rings through the hole
my body's cut in this velvet
breaching around populous islands
where hair unsilken marks me unready
and unextraordinary in my sway.