She spent the last two months avoiding her situations in any way possible. The only way her desperate emotions would leak out were in horrible typed words to herself, that anyone could easily find. Part of her desperately wanted someone to confront her about her sanity. Her lack there of. Part of her just wanted to release her insanity. In more public forums, in which she likely would have been confronted, she avoided any such release. She would pussyfoot around her depression and pretend that her life consisted mostly of bad dating experiences and short shorts. She made sure that her life consisted mostly of bad dating experiences and short shorts. One can only use promiscuous clothing as a distraction for so long until it gets to the point where spandex just doesn't do the trick anymore.
She wanted to speak like poetry. She wanted some sort of flow to her words like she feels she used to have. Some sort of way to make her life more artistic and seemingly romantic. Instead everything that came to her mind was blunt and crass. Now she says the words cunt and tits too often. She doesn't feel comfortable enough to call anything by it's actual name because too many men have had things to say about her tits and her pussy that now they are just some sort of abstract idea to her. She is not a female. She's just a cunt and a small set of tits that any drunk guy would gladly stick his dick in between because everyone wants to fuck a ginger.
Words no longer have beauty to her. Every syllable rests in her mouth like the cold sluggish tounges of men that press up against her desperately attempting to turn her on so that they will have someone to sleep next to that night. She stares at them with dead eyes. The eyes of the cheap backroom porn star that is so trashed and taken so many things she doesn't want in her body that she just doesn't even give a shit anymore. Then she walks away from these sluggish tounges, and words, because part of her gets a kick out of making them angry. She likes to disappoint and frustrate someone or something else for a change. Part of her just knows that she would never be able to make it into anything beyond a fuck, a simple disgusting act or poor excuse for a word, so what would be the use in even trying.