they are filming a documentary
asking someone whose loved one had just been shot,
what they think of the apathy shown by police,
"can we have an interview?"
She refuses them, gets angry,and screams,
"Go away,I'll break your camera, you know I can do anything I want in this country and get away with it"
Yeah, she screams this.
Like laws that are put in place should be our only moral reasoning
I'm sitting in a chair feeling my crossed legs going numb and
wondering how we can be so fucking blind
and I'm sort of shocked by this dramatic irony
the lady next to me is sighing
and I am just really fucking angry
their red nail polish being wiped off by vultures
and cops in training
trained by our patriotic people in red
calling them 'nothing'
and her body has been laying there, and I think it was after a rape,
waning in a heap of garbage and rotting,boiling,submerged in oily liquid
and it's 48 hours later
"she's a prostitute"
the police don't do anything
and then they all just stand around the body and pray to their god that this stops
"dear jesus.." whispered in a spanish prayer
and a lady next to me let's out a concerned 'hmm'
she's still sighing, and I want to know what she is thinking
"HEY JESUS CHRIST, COME PICK UP YOUR FUCKING GARBAGE, HERE IS YOUR FUCKING RED NAILED HOOKER."
in haste, that's the only thing I could even think of praying
so I satirically whisper
'congratulations, jesus sends his vultures to take care of it.'
cuz I'm pissed off.
this film is reminding me of what I am taught to recognize as sexism
and I cry for it
and for them
and for us
but less for me
because I can't know this burden like they do
and even in this country,
where I'm being taught to think about working class women
and how, in this country,
she says they still get called this derogatory term known as "easy"
I feel even less of this burden
but I still carry it
Yes, I've got these burdens in a bag somewhere
and I can't relate to them at all
but I can carry them up high above my shoulders
because sometimes I feel pretty fucking inexistent too
no not nearly anything close to this
but like the unnoticed who are labeled as 'prostitutes' and 'nobodys' to legitimize the fact that nobody gives a shit
and like the raped, and the abused, and the ones who are judged,
and the ones who got fucked,
I get mad about spending my time feeling completely de-sexualized..
but I'm not going to let this become ironic
when I start to feel like my personal injustice is being marginalized by such bigger ones
I stop seeing this marginalization as a bad thing
but more of a reason to feel solidarity with these other struggles
because nobody is alone with this
it's always the same issue
and even my specific one isn't left to stand alone
because it translates in my sisters beautiful poetry
in these womens' bullet and knife wounds
in her sixteen year old pregnancy
in the tragedies left by those who have gone missing
in the barrel that's going to forever roll around his conscious mind
in his tears shed for the family he lost
I think that quote couldn't have been more right
when it said something about how we're all the ones getting fucked
I unfold my now numb legs
tapping them to regain feeling
turn to the person sitting next to me
and making an eye contact with her that causes my tears to dry up,
I sigh too