15.8.07

goodbye? Fuck.


Just relax, take your time, have some strong cups of bitter coffee.
Feel the light of this town reflect off the diamond that hangs from your window sill
and watch as the rainbows create their vibrant orchestra of colour.
The one that you awoke to every summer morning
before you were greeted by the familiar damp nose of your wandering house cat
and remember how she purred and bit your knuckles
like a friend who understood that your need for
attention was something you only wanted
to feel through some sort of sacrifice

and watch your step when you climb through blackberry bushes that lead you tip toeing through dirt roads that once led to carved out trees and warm hearted beasts.
Watch as they now lead to excavators and rock beds.
Feel your heart sink down below your ribs and twist around your spine.
search for the friends that you need at that time
and remember how the best of your friends will turn into the worst of your enemies in the middle of a move
but also the way that they will
immediately revert with blinding speed to sweetheartdom
as you try and capture memories
in your several desperate last attempts
to create a connection
and you'll grasp out and scream the words you were unable to voice at those failed times when you tried to create closure

and you'll find yourself perched on a mountain
and you'll fall back laughing and spewing out what used to just be mumbled rhetoric
but is now 'clearly phrased and technical'
to some stranger who probably doesn't even know
about all those who are still beating you up inside

you'll repeat the words 'i miss you' to those that you left behind
but the emotion will never be translated properly
because you know emotive letters,words,and conversations
only feel right
when spoken to a close companion late at night
beneath moonlight overlooking oceans or lakes
that you walked through and breathed in, glancing upward at the sky,
where all that was felt,
was forged in the hearts of the pretty spectacle of long dead stars.