27.6.07

this isn't poetry or anything, sorry to get your hopes up, or to debase this "blog"

I found it somewhat odd when I logged on here and read that Travis' theme this week was "dragonflies".
It was only two or so days before that,and a day after I found out about my grandpa's stroke, that I was slouching in seal bay park at the edge of a disgusting pond with my legs just barely dangling above the festering brown water, watching a dragonfly land next to ayri, and thinking "Fuck I hate dragonflies." Moments later ayri says as though to let me know she was able to read my mind " I fucking hate dragon flies."
"fuck man, me too." I affirm.
we sat in silence.

So, it was a day after,while still visibly shaken from the news I had received about my grandpa's passing, that I logged onto the blog and read "dragonflies" as the theme.
And I thought
"FUCK I LOATHE dragonflies"
I spent the day alone, between crying sobs and silence.

Now today I found a break in feeling defeated.
To celebrate , I went rowing on the lake here at the farm.
While shouting along to springsteen, forgetting all the bad that had been recently occuring in my life, and nearing my docking point , which isn't so much a docking point as it is a place next to the flagpole in the backyard near a rock by the edge of the dark green and slimey yet welcoming water, A pair of mating dragonflies landed on my ore.
At this moment, I was disgusted at the sight of the fornicating beasts, so I looked up and away from their hideous bodies. Upwards was the flag, and for the first time this week I noticed that the flag I was docking next to, was indeed, flying half mast.
The emotions flooded back into me like an overwhelming surge of pain.
" I FUCKING LOATHE DRAGONFLIES" I choked on the words.
and I sat in the old rowboat
but this time I was not alone
I was sitting right next to some fucking dragonflies.

1 comment:

tangerine said...

They really were fucking.
I love you, even if you hate dragonflies.