I miss life. It's wrong to make generalizations, but I'm pretty sure everyone does. Doesn't everyone have some space of time in their life where they felt like they were actually living the life that they live in movies and Family channel television shows? I felt like that, but I didn't really realize it. I don't think I'm very aware of what I'm feeling at any given time to begin with so when the feeling becomes familiar I start to ignore it completely. That's just how I feel that I feel about myself. A while ago I tried to write that sentence down, I still don't have it right. I wrote "It's all about how people see you seeing yourself." but that's not it. This is going nowhere.
There was an idea to describe in all detail but if you don't feel it is there a feeling to describe?
Themed weeks died fast, which is to say I picked crappy themes and didn't even bother to contribute anything. I don't think I'll keep updating them. Other people can if they'd like, this is the communal blog afterall. I need to stop feeling like it's my "responsibility." I need to stop feeling invested in it because it's already been made abundantly clear that things I create or plan usually die off. I'm happy it's come this far? Does that sound too final? Does that make it sound like I'm saying "It's over"? Because it isn't. I certainly don't feel it is. It shouldn't feel like it is ending.
I swear to god whenever I'm writing a blog entry i just think in clips of songs, usually fucking BARR. I can't even count the number of lines from Summary or Context Ender or whatever I've dropped in this blog post alone. It's tedious, I'm sorry. That's the way my brain works though. It seems like every facet of my creative process is run by this machine that circulates random sentence fragments and uses them as 'inspiration.' (That's a stupid thing to say, that's why I put it in quotes. How self-absorbed to say something 'inspired' you, that's like saying because you saw or thought something inspiring the work it produced is "Inspired" [capital I-Inspired] Maybe I just spend too much time worrying about what's pretentious and what's overly self-conscious and what is and isn't worth saying.)
This week's theme is:
"Let's Get Confessional"